home. puking in laundry basket.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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