I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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