i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
honey bunches of taint.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
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i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
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gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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