Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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