He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
