Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
How many fucks given?
0.12846
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
