I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I got inside last night via doggy door
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
