omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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