My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize