jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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