lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just pee around me
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize