all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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