So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize