Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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