the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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