where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
