he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
