the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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