Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
