worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
