went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
