ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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