Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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