is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
