Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
