my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
