Sponge bath it is.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
