just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
