I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize