Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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