No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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