I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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