I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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