Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
