I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Houston, we have a squirter
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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