He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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