Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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