Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
