I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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