Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
