so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
