One girl and one boy is just not enough.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
