Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
