i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
