i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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