people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
