Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Hippo gnu deer
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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