haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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