So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize