Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize