Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
