you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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