I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
