My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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