Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Dick very happy bro
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
