Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
