Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Randomize
