There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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