Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
