I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Actions speak louder than pants.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
