I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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