i just had sex bonerless
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
