Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
