last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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