He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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