I cannot find my penis.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
