i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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